Following Knit Patterns makes me Cranky

There is a truism in knitting that says American patterns include too much and European patterns don't include enough.  There are whole classes in how to read Japanese patterns.  I think there are all kinds of reasons for this that are cultural, reflect traditions and accessibility to mentors.  As an American knitter taught by a neighbor when I was 13 and then not coming back to it until many years later I have been slowly trying to knit my way to competency.  Which brings me to why patterns make me cranky.

First, they so often have huge errors.  Errata sheets abound.  Having designed a couple of things,  Errors happen.  I  have had to make corrections; even when I had test knitters.  Personally, I really like inexperienced test knitters, because they really, really read the pattern and ask all kinds of questions which allows one to find the confusing places.

Second, in the digital age I think it is possible to sell a pattern and include a FAQ about the pattern which the buyer does not have to print but they can reference.  I think this should be standard.  I spent a good bit of time yesterday trying to figure out if the designer really intended to have the "wrong" side of the 3 needle bind-off be on the "right side" of the little sweater.  Being somewhat dyslexic,  when things get all inside/outside I start getting twitchy.  I went to two different websites and a project page at Ravelry trying to figure out if I was the only one who found the following instructions

On a RS row make two button holes
Cast on over button holes on return row, knit one more row
Now put right sides together and bind off left shoulder
3 needle bind off right shoulder *

had the stitches incorrectly placed on the needle to actually accomplish this instruction.  I was getting twitchier by the moment.  Was I really that stupid?  How come I couldn't make this work?  If I had started on a wrong side row would it have come out correctly?  Is there an error in the pattern?  Is the error this part or that part?  ACK!!!!!!!  I would love to have gone to a FAQ page and seen a designer say:  "Why yes, the "wrong" side of the 3 needle bind off showing on the shoulder is suppose to be a design element".  I still don't know.  I just "made it up", and in the bigger picture it doesn't really matter, it's only knitting and a kid sweater to boot.  Except I would like to have enough expertise and confidence to actually know I can read/interpret what is being written and understand what the designer is trying to accomplish. 

There is also too much information.  There is a designer who wrote 24 pages for a pattern, the majority, in my opinion, waxing poetical about how clever she was.  Someone else condensed the pattern down to one page and if you cut out one paragraph from somewhere around page 23 you can knit this very simple shawl without ever looking at the other pages.  Yes the design is clever and beautiful and deceptively simple - but in this case just give me the straight instructions.  Give me a FAQ page and let me wax poetical about how brilliant you are.

My knitted knickers are in a twist today over pattern reading.


* short version of instructions