The Second Half of Life - A book review (sort of)

I'm reading a book that is irritating the crap out of me.  The Second Half of Life by Angeles Arrien.  I am seeing a disturbing trend in the self help book arena. As the writers in this field age they have begun to write about how American culture doesn't honor elders like other cultures around the world do and that "We can no longer ignore the wisdom that is irrevocably lost to future generations when our elders are marginalised or rendered invisible."  She goes on to say that .."we live in a society that has lost many traditional initiation rituals"...Really, I think this is a case of the cultural 'grass is greener' on the other side.  We have lots of rituals.  Graduation from High School, College, weddings, baby showers, divorce, retirement and funerals.  How the hell do you over look the ritual of divorce - you will spend enough money and time in court that you have to be stupid as a rock not to get that this is a major transition. 

Frankly, this sounds like a case of " Holy Cow, I'm getting older and I'm having a really hard time with it so I will write books about how much personal work I have done and how I am now a "Wise Elder" and let me show you how to be wise like me.  Yea, so???  Sounds a little like trying to prove to one self and others how important you are.  If you are wise, others will see it or they won't.  That's the sad truth of it, people need to find their own inner wisdom.  You might be wise but that doesn't mean others will appreciate that fact, actually they might resent it. Wisdom is or should be pursued for it's own sake not because it is a licence to call your self a "Wise Elder" and graciously start bestowing your opinions on others or write books about how no one in our culture appreciates how much we could do for them it they just paid attention to you.

Wisdom is hard won and many do not chose to follow it's path.  I can see that, personally I think ignorance is bliss. I sometimes think the truly clueless are the happiest.  The path to wisdom is through the valley of sorrow.  It requires deep spelunking and a willingness to take responsibility for what you may have contributed to your life's outcome.  Nothing new here.  Erik Erickson said it almost 70 years ago when he proposed that life was a developmental task.  His last stage was Ego integrity vs. Despair.  Retirement was a time of retrospection.  He also viewed the life stages as a cycle: the end of one generation was the beginning of the next. Seen in its social context, the life stages were linear for an individual but circular for societal development.  (Wikipedia).

Each of us has our own wisdom path, I sometimes think true wisdom is learning to keep our mouths shut and allowing others to learn on their own.  If they wanted our opinion they would ask for it.

Side note:  The book does have some amazing photos of hands - truly beautiful.